BradTaylor

Book Review: Real Marriage

I recently finished “Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together” by Mark and Grace Driscoll.

I should preface this entire post by stating for the record that I disagree with much of Driscoll’s theology and am often very troubled by the delivery of his messages. I suppose it’s impossible to separate those kind of things from the reading of a book like this, although I did try. 

I gave the book 2 out of 5 stars over on GoodReads. I really wish I could have given it 1.5, but I rounded up. There were several really solid takeaways from the book for me. The most helpful section was a terrific exploration of friendship and how it impacts a marriage. Throughout the book, though, there were tidbits that I found useful for my own relationship with my wife.

I couldn’t read the sections that Grace wrote without thinking she had been somehow manipulated or duped into writing them by her domineering husband. I suppose that’s my issue. I can’t figure out why it’s good enough for Mark to have his wife as his “functional pastor” (a concept I’m not quite sure I grasp anyway) but not OK for a woman to be a pastor in his church. 

And, in my opinion, the book drastically overuses statistics, many of which are from far too long ago or from far too small a sample size to scientifically matter. I appreciate the time they took to do the research, but I feel they took just enough time to make the research say what they needed it to say for their purposes. 

I wouldn’t recommend this book to friends. If you do choose to read it, take the Driscolls’ advice at the onset and just use what is helpful for your marriage, discarding the rest.